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Want a good kid? Look at the parents
By Barbara Vice, The Drumright Gusher
WINNING Editorial-September 2002
Good parents make good kids, I've always thought.
It stands to reason that deeply involved parents will, odds are, end up with kids who are more secure, better behaved, and just all around better people.
A recent study seems to prove what I've believed all along, at least in the area of teen sexuality.
The study was based on interviews with mothers and their 14-and 15-year-old kids. It reinforced earlier, similar studies that found that families who have meals together, who know where there children are and who their friends are, will have teens who are less likely to have sex.
The earlier studies also found that teen boys who were close to their moms were also less likely to have sex.
The newest findings were published in the Journal of adolescent Health.
Other factors besides involvement were cited as well. Mothers whose daughters remained virgins tended to strongly disapprove of their daughters having sex; were satisfied with their relationships with their daughters; frequently talked with the parents of their daughters; and were more likely to have a college degree.
The research results are intriguing, although not very surprising. Doesn't common sense tell us that if we are very involved in our kids lives, they will respond positively?
The studies may just give some insight into our own community.
Go to any local athletic, school, or church event, and the lack of parents attending is blatant. There are plenty of kids there, but rarely is there even the equivalent of one family member per kid.
Granted, in this day and age, it's difficult to find time for everything that has to be done. Work schedules don't always allow a parent to be an active part in a kid's life. It's tough to make ends meet, and when both parents work, or there's only a single parent, the kids often do without a parent present at events.
Is it any wonder we have kids underachieving at school, getting into drugs, alcohol and premarital sex, and failing to strive for a better life?
There is always the proverbial bad kid that turns up in a good family, or vice versa, but for the most part, one only need look at the level of involvement by the parent to predict the outcome of the youth.
And I don't mean just simple involvement. For far too many families in this and other communities, parental involvement means a family that does its drugs together or watches its skin flicks together.
That's not parental involvement, that's child abuse and neglect, and it far too often goes unpunished.
Parental involvement that makes emotionally, mentally, and physically healthy kids is the kind of involvement that sets limits, knows when to laugh and when to discipline, and is there to encourage and inspire.
Involved parents who want to raise good kids know that, more than relaxed rules or material possessions, their kids need boundaries, security, and the knowledge of who they are and from where they come.
A strong faith, committed to by the entire family, is a good place to start.
Look around you. Pay attention to the kids who are "good." Then look at their parents or families. Odds are, they are the ones who are involved and active on a deep level with every aspect of their children's lives.
You don't even need a study to tell you that.
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